


and you of tender years can’t know the fears that your elders grew by

by klainelynch



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Fire Lord Zuko, Fire Nation Royal Family, Gen, I simply cannot get enough fics where Zuko tells someone how he got his scar, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, I’m going very two cakes on this fic, Light Angst, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Past Child Abuse, Pre-Canon, Zuko’s Scar, and I hope y’all feel the same way, how do you explain your childhood trauma to your own daughter, without traumatizing her in the process?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24831166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klainelynch/pseuds/klainelynch
Summary: "But Dad," she asked, "Why did he have to hurt you like that? What did you do?"Zuko held back another sigh. He didn’t want Izumi to think that he was upset withher, but Agni, hewasupset. Seven was too young to hear these things.
Relationships: Izumi & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 468





	and you of tender years can’t know the fears that your elders grew by

Looking back, Zuko was surprised that it took this long. Children were more perceptive than adults wanted to give them credit for. Zuko remembered the first time a two-year-old Izumi put her hand on his scar and said, "Daddy red!" He simply nodded and said, "Yep, Daddy's scar is red." 

That night, he and Mai decided that his scar was not off-limits to Izumi, but it wasn't something they needed to bring up. It was simply a part of who he was, and she didn't need to know about where it came from, at least not as a toddler.

“What do you want to say when she’s old enough?” Mai asked. That was something Zuko loved about her— the simple gift of allowing Zuko to decide what to tell their daughter. Izumi was the best of both of them, but this was Zuko’s story, not Mai’s.

He smiled sadly and pulled her close. “I’m not sure.”

.

Most of the time, Izumi couldn’t wait to tell her parents everything that had happened at school. She especially loved recounting how she had helped her friends during their firebending lessons. Izumi had only started firebending at age three, but she had more than made up for her late start these last four years. Zuko loved taking her through the katas and really talking through each one, explaining not only what the movement was but also how the movement connected to the breath before finally becoming fire. 

Izumi's teachers reported that she could regularly be found instructing her peers with language like, "Now make sure you pay attention to your chi flowing here! It should feel so good! You're doing a great job!" They would smile, and Zuko knew that they knew that she was parroting the kinds of things she heard in her own home.

That day, Izumi went straight to her room. Zuko assumed that she had some homework to take care of, but after an hour of no noises from her direction, he thought it might be a good idea to check on her. He went into the kitchen to grab some fire flakes, and what the hell, grabbed a teapot and cups for good measure.

"Fire Lord Zuko?" a quiet voice asked.

He turned around. The small woman bowing in front of him had worked in the palace for the last few years, and he knew that her daughter attended school with his, but Zuko had only spoken with her a handful of times. "Chiyo, is it?" he asked, praying he was correct.

"Yes, Fire Lord," she responded, and Zuko breathed a sigh of relief. "I wanted to thank you again for the scholarship that allows my daughter to attend school with the princess. Hanae will have so many opportunities thanks to your education reforms."

Zuko smiled as he began piling everything onto a tray. "Of course— I'm glad that our daughters are friends."

"I am as well, Fire Lord, and I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here, but I was wondering if you had seen Princess Izumi since she returned home from school?"

"No, that's why I'm bringing this tray up to her room," he said. "Did something happen?" He could see the way Chiyo held her hands. Very stiffly. "Please, let's sit for a moment," he said, gesturing to a bench at the far end of the kitchen, away from the rest of the staff who were busy preparing that night's supper. He set the tray next to him and tried to ignore the number of worst-case scenarios suddenly plaguing his mind.

"From what Hanae tells me, none of this was intended to be malicious in any way," she said. "I don't think the children meant to hurt the princess's feelings, but she is so very protective of you, sir, and—"

“Chiyo,” Zuko interrupted, “You’re making me nervous. Please, just tell me what this is about.”

"They were asking about your scar, Fire Lord Zuko," Chiyo said plainly.

It took a moment before Zuko could respond. "Oh," was all he managed. 

She cleared her throat and continued. "Again, Hanae says that the questions did not seem to be mean-spirited. Some of the girls had been doing a project on the end of the Hundred Year War, and the topic of the previous fire lord, as well as the way he treated certain members of his family, seems to have really grabbed their attention."

"I see," Zuko said, doing his best to continue breathing normally, to ignore the growing pit in his stomach. Of course his family would be included in the history books— they couldn’t be ignored, given their role in both starting and ending the War. But to hear his trauma spoken of in the same breath as the final battles of that century of bloodshed? It would never feel normal to him.

"I am sorry to have caused you any distress, Fire Lord, but I thought you might want to know what you're walking into," she said.

Zuko shook his head, more to clear his thoughts than anything else. "I appreciate it. I am glad that you and your daughter are close enough to discuss these things." He stood up, and Chiyo followed suit, bowing once and then heading out the door. 

Zuko rubbed his eyes with his palms. He wished he could talk with Mai before he had this conversation, but she was visiting her brother and his family for the rest of the week. This was up to him.

.

Fifteen years ago, no servant would have dared allow the fire lord to carry a tray anywhere, but the servants were used to their leader's quirks by now. They all stopped and bowed quickly as he walked through the halls, and Zuko nodded his head in return. 

He wanted to take the long route there to give himself more time to think, but in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to allow his daughter to be alone for one second longer than necessary. Besides, if five years hadn’t been enough time to figure out how to explain this, then a few extra minutes wouldn’t do very much. Reaching Izumi's door, he simply hoped something would come to him when he saw her. His hands full, he used his foot to gently rap on the door as he asked, "Izumi?" A soft voice told him to come in.

She was on her bed, surrounded by books and papers, but Zuko could tell she had barely glanced at any of it. Izumi normally flew through her schoolwork with ease. "Hey, turtle duck," he said as he set the tray on the nightstand. "Thought you might want a snack."

"Thanks, Dad," she said, hugging her knees close to her chest.

Zuko moved some papers to the side as he sat down on her bed. "Is everything okay?"

She shook her head but didn't say anything more. _I'm the adult,_ Zuko told himself. _I have to be the one to start this conversation._ "Hanae’s mom told me that some of the girls were asking you about my scar today. Is that what's upsetting you?"

He had barely gotten the question out before Izumi burst into tears. "They said your dad gave it to you! I don't get why—” she hiccuped and kept talking, probably explaining what she didn’t get, but her words ran together and Zuko couldn’t understand anything but her clear distress over someone hurting her dad. She buried her face in her knees, and didn’t look up when her father wrapped his arms around her. Zuko rocked back and forth, trying to soothe her like when she was just an infant. 

"Izumi," he said when her tears finally settled down to sniffles, "I love you so much. You know that, right?" She nodded and Zuko hugged her even tighter. "Your Mom and I love you more than anything in the entire world. That's how parents are supposed to feel about their kids, but that's not always what happens. Can you tell me what your friends said? Just so I know what you heard."

She pulled back just enough so that she could sit in front of him. "Well, Junko said your dad beat you up, and Rin said no he didn't, he made you fight him, and Junko said it was the same thing, but then they tried to ask me which one was right, and I didn't even know about any of this, so I just asked Sifu Yuri if I could go to the bathroom and when I got back we were talking about something else."

"I see," Zuko said. "Thank you for telling me that. I'm sorry you didn't know what to say— it's not a fun feeling, is it?"

"No," she said, and she wiped her nose with her sleeve. "So who was right, Dad?"

Zuko sighed and rubbed his neck. "Well, they were both a little bit right. You know my father wasn't a good person, and he wasn't a very good dad. When I got in trouble as a kid, he would hurt me to make me feel bad about myself, and my scar was one time that he did that." Izumi looked up at him, and the understanding in her eyes tore at his heart. He reached out and hugged Izumi for a long breath before continuing. "That's not a good way to be a dad, and I will never do anything like that to you."

"I just get the naughty corner," she said, and Zuko smiled. "That's right. When you are in time-out there, Mom and I want you to think about how you've hurt someone, and how you can do better next time. And you do a really good job of apologizing when you've hurt someone, Izumi."

"But Dad," she asked, "Why did he have to hurt you like that? What did you do?"

Zuko held back another sigh. He didn’t want Izumi to think that he was upset with _her_ , but Agni, he _was_ upset. Seven was too young to hear these things. _Ozai already had the Fire Sages burning your arms for mistakes in your lessons by the time you were her age,_ a voice reminded him. He couldn’t go into all of the details, but this story was somewhat public knowledge, and he didn’t want his daughter to be caught off guard again.

"Izumi, when an adult hurts a child, the important thing isn't to ask what the child did wrong. A kid can never be responsible for an adult hurting them in any way.” Zuko made sure to look his daughter in the eyes as he continued. “It's always the adult's job to take care of the child, and when they don't do that or if they hurt the child, that adult needs to be removed from the child's life so they can't hurt them any more."

She nodded, and Zuko was oddly grateful that he could tell her these things— that she hadn’t had to learn them firsthand, like him.

“The story of how I got my scar has some scary parts, but I want you to remember that I’m okay, and that no one is going to hurt me or you like that.” He waited until she nodded again before continuing.

“My father gave me this scar when I was thirteen. I had gone to a meeting in his war room, and I spoke out when I wasn’t supposed to. I was trying to stand up for what I thought was right, but my father was offended by my words. He tried to make me duel him in an Agni Kai— do you know what that is?”

“Sifu Yuri heard a kid in the grade above me say they were gonna to fight one, and we all had to sit through a _really_ long talk about how they’re dangerous and we’re never ever supposed to fight in one,” she said. “Did you actually fight him, Dad?”

Zuko shook his head. “No. Even though he wasn’t a good dad, I still loved him at that age. I didn’t _want_ to hurt him. I tried to surrender, but he wouldn’t let me. That’s when he burned me on my face.”

Izumi was quiet for a long minute. Zuko almost missed her question.

“Did it hurt?”

_A hand coming towards his face, comforting until it isn’t, until it’s threatening, until the heat engulfs Father’s palm and spreads down each finger, finding new skin, unburned skin, and just holding, burning, not letting go, the light so bright that even a closed eye can’t protect him, and a scream that comes from far away even as his throat burns with it._

__

__

_Pain gone, too intense to be felt when so many nerves had been burned away too, and should he thank his father for that? Had the Fire Lord burned less, the pain would be more, and besides, he was letting him come home someday, so it wasn’t that proof he still loved him?_

_Shakes overtaking his entire body, refusing to let go even days later, a fever that burns almost as hot as his face, and nightmares that only get worse when he wakes up._

_Skin itching, peeling, regrowing and reforming over weeks and months, irritating during the day but unbearable at night, when sleep will not come until he stops scratching but he can’t stop scratching it hurts to scratch it hurts not to scratch—_

“Yes, it did,” was all he managed. 

She looked like she wanted to ask something else, but couldn’t find the words. Zuko prayed he hadn’t said too much. He never wanted to burden this part of himself on others, especially his daughter, but this history was a part of his legacy as Fire Lord, and he would pass down that legacy to her one day.

“It’s alright for your friends to be curious about my scar, and it doesn’t hurt my feelings when people talk about it,” he said. “It will always be the first thing that people notice about me, and that’s okay. A lot of people know this story, so it’s not a secret. If you want to tell your friends what really happened, that’s fine, or you can decide how much you feel comfortable sharing. Whatever you decide, I’m here for you.”

She smiled and hugged him again. “Thanks, Dad.”

"Now," he said, "how about you leave this homework for later? Let's have some of these snacks that I brought, and maybe we can color a picture together.”

Her face brightened up. “Can we draw a picture for Mom? And give it to her when she comes home?”

“I think she would love that,” he said. “Do you want to help me make the tea before or after we color?”

She thought about it before answering, “Let’s do tea now.”

Zuko started to hand her the jar of tea leaves so she could portion them out while he heated up the water, but she asked, “Can I try the water today?”

He smiled. “Sure— do you remember how Uncle taught us to do it?”

“I think so,” she said, and she placed her hands on either side of the teapot, just a hair away from the surface. She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly, then breathed out just as slowly. Her breath of fire was certainly that of a child’s, but Zuko could already see the level of control she had.

In time, Zuko saw the steam coming from her hands. Placing them on the teapot itself would burn her, and part of Zuko worried; he had burned himself that way plenty of times. But Izumi’s hands remained steady. Zuko could sense the water inside the teapot slowly heating up until it was close to the temperature they needed. He portioned out the leaves, added them when the time was right, and then placed a hand on his daughter’s shoulder. She opened her eyes and smiled.

“I did it, Dad! I made tea like Uncle!”

“Yes, you did, Izumi,” he said. “Now would you do me the honor of allowing me to pour your tea?”

She accepted, and they drank, and it was the best cup of tea Zuko had had in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> There are so many amazing fics where Zuko tells the gaang about his scar, but I’ve only seen a couple where he tells his daughter the same story. I tried to approach this fic with her young age in mind, so that’s why the details are a bit more vague than what you usually see in this sort of fic. I imagine that Izumi will learn those details later, but that’s another story.
> 
> In writing this, I researched how adults should talk to children about abuse and trauma. I don’t have any experience with this, so if you see something that feels off, please let me know. If you’re interested in reading more, here are three ([1](https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/childhood-domestic-violence/8-ways-to-talk-with-kids-exposed-to-domestic-violence), [2](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/nine_tips_for_talking_to_kids_about_trauma), [3](https://www.state.nj.us/njoem/pdf/chlcope.pdf)) useful resources I found.
> 
> Title is a lyric from “Teach Your Children” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. I’m sure my dad would be very confused by the way I use the music he introduced me to as a child (there was a VERY good chance of this being ANOTHER fic where I use Rush lyrics as the title).
> 
> Comments are always appreciated :)
> 
> Find me on tumblr at [klainelynch](https://klainelynch.tumblr.com/)


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